#but no hes so cute....ugh hes actually...hes actually kinda cute
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marchsfreakshow · 2 days ago
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Yeah, hi! See your soul mate au prompts, and if you're taking requests, how does Peter Maximoff with 18 sound? That feels like the kinda thing that'd fit with him lol ("God, why is Madonna stuck in my brain?! I didn’t ask for a private concert!" or smth like that).
Love your work, btw :3
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Ugh, a love song?
Fluff!
Anon ur soso smart! I went with a song u can hear in Fallout. Cause, I've been obsessed with fallout recently!
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Peter was the type of person to listen to anything. Anything in the world. But god, these Western songs were really ragging on him!
Marty Robbins, Eddy Arnold, Tony Marcus.. etc.!
First it was, Big Iron. No big deal. He liked that song. It was funny, and something he could just have a little dance to when he felt like he needed to expel energy. The earworm went on for a week or so.
Then it was Lone Star. Wow... possibly the most western song he'd ever heard. Why on earth were these random, 50s western songs suddenly getting stuck in his head? He'd never heard them before these weeks. ...He wasn't even from Texas like the songs says!
Finally, a complete 180 from Western songs. Crazy He Calls Me. Billie Holiday. That one was nice. That one was sweet. Cute a bit. After a few days though, it was starting to get a bit old. I mean, he'd never even heard the song on the radio before! Where on earth was it coming from?
Ah, you. One of his best friends. Just the person to talk to about this. Peter walked (zipped) his way over to you, standing behind your shoulder for a second. You were just organising your drawers, muttering a song to yourself. "...sure I'm crazy...crazy in love, you see.."
Peter couldn't help himself to taunt you behind your shoulder. "Like the wind, that shakes the bough.."
And a little jump from you, making you turn in your spot. "Jesus christ Peter! I hate it when you sneak up on me." Placing your hand over your heart for a moment to exaggerate the truth. "...I didn't know you knew that song."
"I don't. Not that well. It's been stuck in my head for weeks! Like the singer came back to life and decided to be stuck in my actual brain like a genuine worm or something! Oh my god, it's absolutely ridiculous at this point." Peter rambled on and on, talking about Billie Holiday and how he'd never heard her before this.
"I've been listening and humming like, a lot of 50s songs. Love songs and Westen songs. They're kinda cute."
Peter took a second. Woah. Hold on! Did you say you've been listening to songs from the 50s?? "Woah. Gotta say, I've been stuck with those songs in my head for like... forever."
"wait really?"
"yeah. Weird right?"
"totally weird."
You were both naive, and that seemed to be fine with the two of you.
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screampied · 1 day ago
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(rises from the dead)
screampied chrismus fic when????
this behind said, tying satoru up with them red and golden bows during christmas 🙏🙏🙏 call that the carol of the balls
imagine before ur together. after a one night stand before christmas/Christmas eve, him putting a little christmas card on ur shared bed's nightstand. guess what is on it UR RIGHT it's money and... condoms 💀 HE GIVES U CONDOMS AND WRAPS IT UP IN LITTLE BOWS AND SHIT, writes on the corner like "4 later<3"
also nanami's the type of guy who when asked by his wife what he wants for Christmas says "you". jemksemken💔💔💔
this all being said who else other than gojo do u think is most likely to put a bow on their cock and go "here's ur gift"
(XTRA::: husband higuruma taking a break for like a week just to spoil you. cock or not, whatever u want, he's spending all his time w his beloved wife during christmas </3333 I love him sm)
i kinda planned on writing a christmas fic !!!! 🕺 we didn’t get that far though lawl. but wait this actually gave me an idea.
tying up satoru omg 🫦. that’s so cute. imagine the pout on his face but he gets hard once reader straddles his lap n hangs a mistletoe over his head </3 carol of balls is actually crazy… i love it
CONDOMS WRAPPED UP IN BOWS PLEASE. he’s so cheesy.
nanami 😞😞😞😞😞. i feel like he’s such a christmas person <3 loves helpin u hang up decorations n makes the best dinners.
toji would def put a bow on his dick. actually, he’d wrap it in red wrapping paper and say “open it, baby. it’s all i could afford heh.” i can’t stand him. HUSBAND HIROOOOMIIIII ugh <3 i think he’d also be a christmas person :’)))
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punk-o-ween · 2 months ago
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so at first glance when i watched aew for the second time, i was like "lol okay so hangmans a bitch (respectfully) bc he burned my guys house down, got it" and never rlly cared for him too much
but now looking at pictures of him on tumblr and pinterest...why is he actually kinda? why is he so.. why is he 🤤😻 why he kinda why why when you when when you 🤭🤭🤭 like im starting to see what yall mean hes actually kinda cute, so :3 ykwim (read tags too)
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silusvesuius · 8 months ago
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nightmare
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ariseur · 2 months ago
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it feels so surreal that jujutsu kaisen’s done. like, no more jjk chapter leaks?? no more manga?? no disney kaisen?? 😞
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5hrignold · 11 months ago
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reminder
#rewatched this sneak peek for the first time since i first saw it and ugh. UUUUGHHGGHHH.#it hurts me a lot I’m ngl….. like to see charlie be so critical of something pim likes#except this time it’s even more painful because it isn’t just that pim likes it he also thought charlie would like it too and he literally#took him out and did this just for him because he thought he’d like it. he thought charlie said something so he went out of his way to#organise something to show to him to make him happy. and also how like… expectant? charlie is acting in the clip#like the way he just kinda frowns at pim whenever one of the dudes says something particularly out there#and it’s like. dude what the fuck#ive Said it once i’ll say it again i think charlie needs to lose pim during an episode or something. itd humble him#i mean that KIND OF happened with the finale but look where they are in s2#as usual what i always say. absolutely no actual complaints. if anything i Love this because it’s very clearly like#im so excited for this particular episode because you can just TELL its gonna be such a good one for their relationship#like looking into it analysing it n stuff#literally anything with them together has me screaming and cryjing they’re one of my fav duos ever#ok my hands are shaking bye#smiling friends#💝#smiling friends spoilers#also this is just Such a cute clip. the way pim runs and how charlie slugs on close behind him looking all grumpy#and how happy he looks to be calling him his best friend… actually peak i fear this is the peak of the season (joke
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whattimeisitfic · 6 months ago
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Raphael Design
You guys have NO idea how long I’ve been trying to toy w/ designs for our three favorite babies. The Morningstar Brithers. The Angelic Trio, if you will. I’ve tried to incorporate aspects that I’ve seen from artists on here, and I think I’ve finally, finally got something I actually like. For Raphael at least, I’m still playing w/ the others (clothing is a bitch y’all).
So like… here you go! ;)
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mars-ipan · 2 months ago
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ��woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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strike-another-match · 4 months ago
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well something serious finally happened w my crush and i think i might be aromantic or a lesbian for sure 💀💀💀 i just keep thinking man the version of me that is attracted to men and doesn't exist would probably be thrilled right now. or maybe its a bit more complicated idk maybe we just dont match each others freak enough but at least i know for sure this isnt happening phew just gotta break it to him. we talked about it he knows how weird i am about these things and he knew it was very likely i would back down after having some time to myself to think so i hope he won't take it too hard
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sysig · 2 years ago
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Fallen Angel, Uplifted Human (Patreon)
#Doodles#LAC#LAC Russ#Doug Peterson#DQIX#Serena#Corvus#Hello LAC/DQIX fandoms could I interest you in a switcheroo crossover 👀#LAC gets all of them because they're that special and versatile and also they literally jump video games lol#But also they keep?? aligning with my already-established interests lol - human and their demon boyfriend is just a fave of mine smh#I don't Entirely remember what inspired this thought other than Doug being a Celestrian and I think it all tripped from there#I think Russ as Serena was the first actually concrete thought of Who should be Where and the pieces kinda fell into shape all at once lol#It's so fun to think about ugh <3 <3 Serena and Corvus' story is so tragic - and at the end so is Russ and Doug's!#Giving them the opposing side probably wouldn't help lol but how might they react differently ♪ It's so fun to theorize#Obviously Russ has his hood up so he still made it to ghost form :( Poor lad#That said I haven't doodled the Prince of Darkness version of Doug from his Celestrain form#I'm not sure what that would look like outside of his normal demon form lol but Corvus' ensemble is very uhm....revealing lol#Cursed#That said Doug does look super cute in his duds <3 I'm sure not helped at all by Corvus' already cute fashion sense haha ♪#Gave him modified horns for a halo since it's favourite as well :D Wonder what'll happen to that >:3c#List of characters who originally did not have fluffy angels wings: Added Doug (lol)#And then for funsies I gave the other two the reverse! They deserve a little unhinged chaos!#LBRH Serena would not need much of a push to commit some retribution lol#Also modified Corvus' demon form - it's so fun 'cause they both have canon demon designs! Love that :D#He gets little baby versions of his horns but he fully gets his wings and tail haha ♪#They all look handsome in the clothes swaps as well ah ♥ Fun fun fun fun fun
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ladyofthelake · 11 months ago
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Arthur and Mithian tho they were perfect jfsfjsfdjsa
like can't I live in a world where Gwen/Lancelot were endgame and Arthur/Mithian happened as the romantic subplot
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starsanddragonflies · 1 year ago
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WHAT
#I just FINISHED supernatural and have about FOURHUNDREDMILLION FEELINGS#WHAT#WHAT WAS THAT IM#I#WHAAT#I thought it ended at like 5 different points and cried SO MUCH????? I didn’t expect to still care so dang much but I guess they still#own a piece of me oh god#spn spoilers#from now maybe idk but I don’t want to spoil anyone and idk if anyone will read the tags but JUST IN CASE#‘Cas helped’ well see that means Cas is in heaven too and that makes this so much easier I was so scared#for a second I thought Dean is in heaven Cas is in the empty and Sam is on Earth but no#now they’re all in heaven and you betcha Cas is hanging out with Dean now aww now it is kinda cute#I got some spoilers (because ofc I did I went on tumblr again without finishing the show I was basically asking for it) but#all I knew going into s15 was ‘Destiel goes canon Cas goes to the empty and Dean dies’ so just thought naturally#that’s exactly how supernatural has always been but I also wasn’t sure if that actually would happen???#and I’ve seen that I love you news meme so gosh darn many times that I didn’t know what to expect but THAT WAS HEART WRENCHING#Finally someone told Dean what he deserves to hear but why not let him keep Cas ugh this is so sad#Feels a bit odd that Sam got a son and named him Dean though like that sounds like it would be more painful than anything but oh well#oh and Jack!! aww I’m so happy about him#I just hope they’re all happy in heaven and I wish I knew more about more characters but tbh#I just want to know that Cas is happy#I was so angry halfway through this episode thinking they murdered Dean and left SAM alive like what#Sam is left on Earth to do his thing and Dean just gets offed????? luckily it ended a lot better than that#my god I need to process this for a long time#oh and now I also want to rewatch the whole show but let’s be real it is 15 seasons I have NO time for that#Anyway I’ll go back to playing Zelda now#I have too many feelings about Spn#it’s time to have feelings about something else and though I have blocked zelda and totk EVERYWHERE to avoid spoilers I am so emotional#but I have lots of feelings about Zelda too oh my god how can I fit so many feelings at once I’m-#help I didn’t know there was a tag limit wth
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red-elric · 2 years ago
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FINISHED KINNPORSCHE!!!
-obsessed w the vegas and pete dynamic but i HATE that they romanticized it. they almost got there w pete and how hes traumatized and how vegas being there in his rock bottom moments led to obsession with him (even tho those rock bottom moments were VEGAS’S FAULT) and then they almost got it again when i thought they were finally killing vegas off (seriously they baited it like five diff times) and letting pete mourn him while still making it clear vegas was never good for him but ugh. nope vegas survives and he and pete fell in love and theyre fine ig. what the fuck ever (booo)
-kim being so fucking down bad for chay is soooo cute to me. chays a sweet nerdy little guy and kim’s obsessed with him. in a completely unhinged (but like. normal not like fucking vegas) way afksdjfdsl........ theyre cute or whatever <3 hope kim learns to actually talk to chay tho lmaooo
-ugh. ugh. kinn and porsche <3. guys of all time theyre both so fucking cute and in love holy hell!!!! little bit frustrated that theyre both staying in the mafia after they had that whole conversation about how its not really what either of them want........ where’s porsche’s beachside bar with kinn and/or chay singing/playing live music huh?????? wthhhh but whatever. its a mafia show i can handle them romanticizing the mafia lmao. related to kim and chay too but im also obsessed with the cousins fakeout (but not really but kind of) x2 combo like akjfdlksjfdslkhagkjdsfjksjdklfjsd that was so funny.........
-anyway the shows pretty well done :) besides the aforementioned issues with vegas seriously like. what the hell. but i had fun hehehe
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seiwas · 8 months ago
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i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!
what a soft piece ari 🥺 thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strength—but i think it’s in part because that’s how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. he’ll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but he’s always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking 🥺 and i felt that loads here!!
there’s a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo
synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think he’d be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, he’s addicted to calling u ”baby,” satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)
a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :’3
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dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.
the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:
boredom.
satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. he’s trying to pay attention — really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one he’s been looking forward to watching with you all week. he’s trying his best. but, gosh, it’s just so boring.
or maybe he just doesn’t have it in him today — with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea what’s happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.
so, with nothing better to do — satoru decides to savour another view.
that’s how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether you’re watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre — eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making. 
after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he can’t resist leaning in for a kiss or ten — he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it. 
so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing you’ll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious. 
and something in his chest constricts.
at first, he doesn’t notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.
tears.
crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. they’ve yet to fall, but satoru sees them — he sees them and he doesn’t know what to do. 
tears. 
tears?
you’re crying.
in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene — playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. there’s a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and you’re crying.
satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?
the tricky part is that he can’t. he can’t move, can’t shape his voice into a purr, can’t even speak. he’s frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.
his breath hitches — and that’s all. 
something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesn’t understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.
then your eyes meet.
and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and he’s proven right when your gaze flees from his.
a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesn’t know what. 
he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like that’s where you belong.
a whisper. it’s small, hushed, a little frail. but there’s something else, too, laced together with the vowels — amusement. 
”you didn’t tell me this was a sad movie.”
a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then there’s that amusement; it’s there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile. 
and satoru’s shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds it’s way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet. 
he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. ”i think you’re just sensitive, baby.”
his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft. 
”oh, shut up,” you scoff. smiling. he’s so relieved that you’re smiling. 
a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until you’re practically sharing seats. searching for your hand — and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.
(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)
he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.
the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you aren’t looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and he’s almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.
anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch. 
satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!
he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.
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rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.
it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.
it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.
satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset — hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.
he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldn’t cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.
and, more importantly, more than anything — nothing you do could ever make him angry at you. 
(well, at least that’s what he thought.) 
satoru’s anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. it’s a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it — little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.
satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isn’t smiling, and that’s all you need to know that he’s upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment. 
a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesn’t notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesn’t sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.
”don’t act like such a child.”
a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but it’s too late. he’s in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he can’t quite seem to push it away.
and you’re just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isn’t like him.
it’s not like him at all.
swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.
satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.
and his chest goes cold.
a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break — tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.
(oh, fuck.)
satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he can’t do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall. 
his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.
an inhale, then an exhale. you’re still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but it’s not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like it’s about to crumble away. 
”sorry,” you squeak, taking a step back. there’s a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. ”i’ll just — i’ll leave —”
he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you. 
satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.
and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. he’s so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.
(he scared you.)
satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. it’s unruly by the time he’s done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.
(he made you cry.)
a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. it’s foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?
the crack in his heart grows deeper, while you’re gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.
he’ll make it up to you.
and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. you’re embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.
but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does. 
so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips. 
”’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean it.”
and it’s not enough. he knows it isn’t. but he does what he can — even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once. 
there’s a desperation to it that isn’t lost on you.
but it works. he’ll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until you’re too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until he’s sure you believe him. 
he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing what’s left of his frustration, focusing on you.
anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again. 
(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)
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panic, panic, panic.
it’s all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. he’s in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you aren’t saying a thing. can’t bring yourself to.
arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth — and you’re not just crying.
you’re downright sobbing.
satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isn’t used to, from you.
he knew something was wrong. 
he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.
they break his heart.
”hey, hey…” there’s a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. ”what’s wrong?”
satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world — from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if you’d crumble into dust, otherwise.
he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesn’t help. you’re trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just can’t get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.
a shake of your head is all he gets — and it’s not much, but satoru’s learned to make a lot out of a little. 
so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you won’t be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions — for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?
(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)
gentle. that’s the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like he’s lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.
soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales. 
”it’s fine. i’m here, i’m here… i’ve got you.”
he doesn’t know what he’s doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.
it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.
it’s unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.
(it’s ugly. it’s grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)
a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes you’ll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.
”my baby….” satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes it’ll help mend the pain in your chest. ”what’s got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, here…”
a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.
”’m sorry…”
and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.
his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow — keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like you’re his baby koala.
”shh, it's okay,” he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. he’s got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. ”you’re okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.”
a moment passes. 
satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. ”you know that, right?”
all you can give him is a shaky nod, but it’s enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. ”okay,” he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. ”good.”
he isn’t sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there… every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.
and when you’ve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck — satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you don’t have to. acting like his heart isn’t still a mess of crushed glass.
”you okay now?” he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. ”almost gave me a heart attack, baby.”
he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together. 
(he doesn’t like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)
”i’m sorry,” you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. ”it’s not — not a big deal, ’m just…” 
satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.
then he pinches your cheek.
”don’t apologize,” he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like he’s scolding you. 
it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.
satoru clicks his tongue. ”and don’t look at me like that, either.” 
he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. it’s small, more breath than a real laugh, but you’re almost smiling, and —
it’s a start. it’s something.
satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. there’s a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.
”there’s that smile.” 
he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldn’t do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.
then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate — he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though there’s never any need.
he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. that’s how it always goes.
”wanna talk about it?” he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.
”it’s nothing, really,” you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ”nothing big, anyway…” 
a moment passes, before you continue. ”i guess it's just been a rough week,” you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. ”just little things piling up. ’m okay now.” 
a hum. satoru clears his throat.
”anything i can do?”
(please let me help.)
but you only shake your head. ”you’ve already done enough,” you assure him, leaning into his touch. ”think i just needed to get it all out, y’know?”
a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that you’ve merged together. closer isn’t close enough.
he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. ”i’m always here,” he settles on. ”if there’s anything you need, come straight to me. okay?”
a frown plays at your lips. you’re silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.
”i don’t want to bother you so much, though…”
”— it’s not a bother.”
the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.
”i’m serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. i’m yours,” satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. you’re carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs. 
then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. ”if anyone makes you cry, i’ll get rid of them.”
he says it casually, so casually that you assume it’s a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesn’t have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that he’s honestly a little terrified of how far he’d be willing to go to keep you safe and happy. 
but you’re smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.
"that's scary!” you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. ”you’d go to jail for me?”
satoru huffs. ”bold of you to assume i’d get caught,” he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.
”okay, okay,”  you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. ”please don’t kill anyone on my behalf, though.”
”no promises.”
”satoru…”
slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that you’re there, he thinks. helps that you’re pressed up against him, that you’re holding him, like he’s the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.
(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)
it’s healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore — he just isn’t sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.
”i don’t like seeing you cry.”
you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.
”— but i still want you to let me see you like that.” satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. ”is that weird?”
a moment passes. then you hum.
”no,” you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. ”i love that about you, satoru.”
”huh?” he gapes at you — blinking dumbly. ”love what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?”
”that you try,” you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. ”even when it makes you a little uncomfortable.”
satoru stills. 
silence fills the space between you. there’s nothing more to say. his tongue isn’t really cooperating with him, anyhow — all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesn’t say a word about the tremor running through his chest. 
he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he can’t always protect you from the world, from himself.
but you let him see you like that.
he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore — and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows it’ll always be enough to break his heart to pieces. 
he thinks of you, and tells himself that it’s worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life. 
#jjk#satoru#omg i am so excited i finally got to this ari 🥹🥹 and an x times kind of fic too oh my heart!!!!!!#oh he’s soooo into you 🥺 how his gaze always gravitates towards you i am sOOO my heart is SOOO#‘lives and die by it’ PLSSS reading this is like reading it thru rose tinted glasses!!! his rose tinted glasses!! like a movie in a haze 🥹#your writing is always so incredibly descriptive ari and i love love love that because it paints the scene so so well!!#it describes his emotions so well too — the part on him watching your tears is so pretty ‘crystalline & dew-drawn’ HOW PRETTY#the way the movie reflects on your irises — i love that image so much!!!! its such a vivid picture#satoru not knowing what to do when youre near; his emotions going haywire UUUGH forever a fave concept#and WHEN HE SPEAKS WKNDJEJD I THINK URE JUST SENSITIVE BABY HELLLLLOOOOOSUSJDJISJSJS#‘everything you do is soft’ MY GOSH that’s SO CUTE#anything is better than that irritating itch :((((((( GAWSH i love him#i LOOOOOVE the little descriptors at the start and how they set the mood for the scene omg love love loce#comparing his anger to a cup of chamomile??? oh my god i LOVE that how it simmers and boils omfg ari ur mind#and an angry satoru? oh my god take me tf out LOL IDK iF I CAN TAKE THAT LMAO#slicing the silence in the room into half is an AMAZING description ari omfg#‘dont act like such a child’ MY jaw DROPPED oh my god ari if he ever said that to me id actually cry#that oh fuck is so so loud and i love love love how you described that scene ari omg its so vivid and i could feel his and the readers#emotions thru it !!! i wish i could copy paste it properly but im rdg from my phone rn so 🥲#the idea that he hurts when you hurt is sooo oh my god im such a sucker for that and i think its so true!!#because as much as youre unaccustomed to him acting this way; he’s just as unaccustomed to treating you like this too :((((#oh my god him biting his lips to death :(( everything is meaningless . out of tune :(#see a man who loves you because he does :((( WAAAAH ILL SAWB RN#:(((( it makes him want to rearrange the the world & stitch those broken vowels back together HOW PRETTY#the sheer panic he feels at you sobbing bc he just doesnt know what to do#oh god :(( he thinks of you when he wants to handle you gently :(( bc thats all u rlly are :(( gentle :((#and its insane omg how kinda crazed u can feel he is abt u too. how uve managed to write in the extent of what he’d do just for y#i love the lil banter after 🥺 how he tries to keep things lighthearted still bc thats him!! thats satoru!!!#that dialogue is so tender ‘i dont like seeing u cry but i still want you to let me see u like that’ UGH i love that#:((((( and its that act of. he doesnt like it but he’ll brave it for u!! i love that line of him knowing that itll break his heart
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basslinegrave · 3 months ago
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was looking for something but instead found a folder with some random art from probably around 2016 and theres some oc lore that i completely forgot about but it all makes so much sense like i cooked here.. i never used or made art for these much since then but damn
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cryptidapprentice · 3 months ago
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ugh
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#every gd time i think/talk abt my celebrity crush i feel like i sound like some creepy stalker fan 😭😭#but very genuinely my crush is like. 'we dont have class together but i think youre cute and seem interesting. id like to get to know you-#'-would you like to go out sometime?'#like i keep comparing it to anime bc thts the main place i see it happen tbh (esp bc im usually a friends-first kinda person w crushes)#like in my mind im like 'based on what ive seen i think we could be pretty compatible personality-wise!!'#n then i pull back n im like dude. i sound like a stalker or smthn idk#i just wanna know what the guy's like when hes not On for the cameras yk?? (and again my brain goes 'thats some stalker shit')#(but its also like. im not going out of my way to find things abt him?? like im not tryna look up where hes living rn or anything like that#(all i know abt him is the stuff ive heard him talk abt in the (v few)#interviews ive seen of his)#so id like to THINK im not a stalker#but it feels like the fact that this celebrity crush is essentially just 'a crush that so happens to be on a celebrity' makes me seem so...#parasocial?? like Actually?? but also im not like. under the assumption that like. we're bonded or connected or whatever#plus like. i myself am a performer/actor just by no means in any way as professional as him (but id LOVE to be a professional ykwim??)#so im kinda like 'oh we're peers but at different points in our careers' on some level (but i also know THATS kinda nothing...)#ugh idk idk ive just been thinking abt it a lot n i wanted to get that off my chest lol#i would not mind thoughts n opinions on the matter in my dms 👀 i just feel sooo 😖😖😖 and anyways ive been on my lunch break too long#post over
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